When the House Grows Quiet: A Single Mom's Journey into Her Second Act

For the first time in a long time, the house is going to be quiet. I don't just mean the tv is off, no music blasting from someone's Beats, not even the chatter, giggles and random breaking out into show tunes by my daughters. Just silence. The sound of my heavy footer neighbor upstairs, the sound of the young single mom downstairs' son opening up the car door even though he knows it will set off the car alarm. Smile. In my place...silence. 

There will be no dishes filling up the sink, begging for some dishwasher action. No waiting in line for the laundry room. The fridge and pantry will stay fuller, and there will be no hiding at least one of the snacks I like just in case the last one is taken before I get to it. 

I anticipate the echo of my thoughts and even my conversations with my sister ringing louder in an empty room. My children, the very center of my world for just about my entire adult life, are grown. The baby has graduated and is preparing for college in the fall.  My older children are building their own lives; all finding their own paths, and I couldn't be prouder. Here I am, a single mom stepping into this unfamiliar space and leaning into what I am calling my "second act", I find myself staring out the window, asking quietly..."now what, Lord?"

What do you do when the roles that once define your every waking moment shift? When there's no one calling out "Mom!" every few minutes or needing you to show up in a dozen ways a day? It's in these moments I feel the pull to rediscover ME, not just the mom, not just the caregiver, but the woman. The woman who stopped "becoming" to become a mother. The dreamer. The daughter of the Most High on fire for serving purpose and recognizing what my purpose has been while raising my children. 

What is My Next?

I've prayed and asked God this question in the stillness of early mornings and late nights: "How will you use me now, Lord?" Not with a sense of fear, but with curiosity and a spark of hope. Deep down I know I'm not done, that there's more, that there is always more when God writes the story. 

Maybe the dreams I set down years ago are waiting for me to pick them back up. The wisdom that I've earned through every pain, prayer, and perseverance is the very message someone else is praying to hear; or so I believe. 

Do I Still Have a Voice?

Yes.

Even when doubt creeps in, even when I feel like the world is full of louder, younger voices. My voice still carries weight. Hallelujah! My message still matters. God doesn't retire His daughters. He refines us. He repositions us. He releases us into new purpose. So, if you find yourself here too, wondering what's next, unsure if your story still has impact, I want to remind you: You are still becoming. You are still called. Your voice, ohhh by dear one, your voice, and with a depth the world desperately needs. 

Now more than ever before, I am trusting God on a new level. Greater it seems than the trust that brought me through motherhood, through the heartbreaks of a failed marriage, through battles fought in silence of my own creating and others. God isn't finished with me. He has set the stage for my next, my 2nd act, long before I even knew it would be. 

So here I am, pen in hand, computer keys under my fingertips, wrapped in grace and earned wisdom, and filled with the divine ability to impact.  Let's go.